I've been back to work since right before Christmas. Driving to work that first day was the most emotional drive I've ever had. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was going to feel. Unfortunately, I had to go back. I had 10 paid-in-full weeks off, and as amazing and generous as that was, it wasn't enough. I'm breaking my rule and talking politics right now. EVERY MOM should be PAID for a minimum of this amount of time off. In my opinion, MUCH longer. Your baby is your baby ONE TIME in life. She will smile for the first time ONCE, sit up on her own for the first time ONCE, talk for the first time ONCE. Those moments, we don't get them back. I'm grateful to have amazing childcare for her while Chuck and I are at work. But, it's time the U.S. starts acknowledging the importance of maternity and paternity leave. My husband was only allowed one week off, UNPAID, and we spent 5 of those days in the hospital. If I didn't have family close by when he went back, I would have really been in a bad way. Having a c-section, I wasn't allowed to do stairs or drive, or lift anything heavier then the baby. It was really hard to be in the house alone with a newborn, an incision, and my hormones.
It's been five months, and I still ugly cry at least once a week after dropping her off. It's not the being worried about her part. Its the missing time with her part that really gets to me. It's the wondering if she misses me when I'm not with her, or if she even thinks about me during those nine hours apart. Does she know mommy would do anything to stay home and play with her all day? Is she learning to be strong, and independent, and play with other kids? Is she proud that her parents work full time? I wonder all these things on my 20 minute drive to work.
I grew up with my parents owning their own business. So I come from a background of hard work, and being humble. It took me becoming a parent to realize the sacrifices my parents made for me. My brothers and I had our dad to be ALL of our baseball coach for so many years, and when I decided competition cheerleading was my thing, my parents never missed a competition. They drove all over Ohio for me almost every weekend. Even to Florida a couple times to watch me. I don't think I truly appreciated it until I had Lola and realized what it feels like to miss out on things. I hope to be half the parents they are, and pray Lola learns the balance of life and work one day too.
Going to work now is easier then that first day. Chuck and I have a pretty good routine going on now during the week with getting her ready in the morning, having dinner together at home, and bath and bed time. Our days and nights are busier then ever, but the time with her is that much sweeter.
It's been five months, and I still ugly cry at least once a week after dropping her off. It's not the being worried about her part. Its the missing time with her part that really gets to me. It's the wondering if she misses me when I'm not with her, or if she even thinks about me during those nine hours apart. Does she know mommy would do anything to stay home and play with her all day? Is she learning to be strong, and independent, and play with other kids? Is she proud that her parents work full time? I wonder all these things on my 20 minute drive to work.
I grew up with my parents owning their own business. So I come from a background of hard work, and being humble. It took me becoming a parent to realize the sacrifices my parents made for me. My brothers and I had our dad to be ALL of our baseball coach for so many years, and when I decided competition cheerleading was my thing, my parents never missed a competition. They drove all over Ohio for me almost every weekend. Even to Florida a couple times to watch me. I don't think I truly appreciated it until I had Lola and realized what it feels like to miss out on things. I hope to be half the parents they are, and pray Lola learns the balance of life and work one day too.
Going to work now is easier then that first day. Chuck and I have a pretty good routine going on now during the week with getting her ready in the morning, having dinner together at home, and bath and bed time. Our days and nights are busier then ever, but the time with her is that much sweeter.
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